You smell like stripper and shame
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
