That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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