Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
