oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
