He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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