So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
