I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
