I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you still have your period?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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