a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
