did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
