Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize