He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
