people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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