apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
