So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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