i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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