Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
