Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
