I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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