Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize