we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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