They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize