If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize