Plan B is the new Plan A
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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