he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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