that's an acceptable place to lick
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
