My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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