But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
