It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
