Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
