Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
