i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
