I don't think brook has ever known best
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
