wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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