i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
