I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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