Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
