He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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