Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
