the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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