Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
