she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
