There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
