I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have feelings that need drinking.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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