I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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