Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
