Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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