Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Pooping to opera.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
