i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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