ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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