cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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