The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
did you just send me my own nude
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
