Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
