Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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