He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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