I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
