Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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