And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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