from now on my penis is your penis
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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