It's like God shit irony all over that family
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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