Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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