yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
