you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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