areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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