a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
