you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
