Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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