yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
