at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
